BJJ Private Lesson Checklist: What to Ask, Film, and Review Afterwards

Q: Should I take notes during the private or after?

After. During the lesson your attention should be on your coach and your body. Film the key reps, record a short voice memo of your impressions right after, then write the structured technique card the same evening while the details are still fresh.

Q: Is it rude to film a private lesson?

Almost never, but always ask first. Most coaches assume you'll want to film and will happily narrate a clean rep for the camera. Avoid filming without permission or posting clips publicly without checking — the lesson is the coach's intellectual property.

Q: Can one private lesson actually fix a weakness?

No single hour fixes a hole in your game. A good private gives you a correct blueprint — the right grips, angle, and sequence — so your subsequent drilling and rolling is pointed in the right direction. The real fix is the next few weeks of focused reps.

Q: What if my academy doesn't have a coach I want a private with?

Traveling for a private with a specialist in a specific guard or pass system is a legitimate option. Just make sure you've already identified the exact problem you want solved so the trip isn't wasted on a general lesson.

Q: How does a private compare to a seminar for retention?

A private is more targeted and easier to retain because the volume is lower and the feedback is personal. A seminar is broader but harder to hold onto, which makes a strong capture-and-revise system even more important afterwards.

TL;DR. A BJJ private lesson is one of the fastest ways to level up — but only if you prepare, capture, and review it properly. Walk in with 1–3 specific problems, not a vague wish to "get better." Film the key reps with your phone, ask your coach to narrate the details, and build a short technique card the same night. Revisit it before your next three training sessions, or most of what you paid for will fade into the blur of normal class.

A private lesson is one of the highest-leverage things a hobbyist grappler can do. For an hour, a qualified coach is focused on you — your frames, your grips, the specific reason your knee cut keeps getting stuffed. The problem is that most people walk out of a private feeling great, roll that night, go to work the next morning, and by the following week they can only remember "something about the hip" and "I think there was a grip." The money is still gone. The technique isn't.

This checklist fixes that. It's not about being a better student in a cute way — it's a repeatable system for extracting, capturing, and revising what your coach gives you, so a private becomes a permanent upgrade to your game instead of a nice afternoon.

Why private lesson details disappear so fast

Technique details are fragile. In a one-hour private, a good coach might show you a position, three variations, two common mistakes, and a chain into a submission. That is a lot of information, delivered under physical fatigue, in a sport where your body is also learning something new at the same time. Without a capture system, much of it fades within days.

There are three forces working against you:

Volume. Even a focused private covers more detail than you can hold in working memory. You can repeat the move while your coach is watching; you can't necessarily rebuild it alone three days later.
State dependence. The move felt obvious because your coach was right there, correcting posture and grip in real time. Back in open mat with a stranger, your brain doesn't have those cues.
No revision loop. You take the lesson, you roll, you go home. Nothing brings the technique back to the front of your mind before you need it again.

This is the same mechanism behind forgetting from class and seminars, and it's covered in more depth in why you forget BJJ techniques. The fix is the same: capture, structure, revise.

Remember. You didn't "waste" the private if you can't remember it a week later — you just skipped the capture step. That part is on you, and it's cheap to fix.

A simple system: 7 steps to run a private properly

Use this as a literal checklist. Print it, screenshot it, whatever — just don't improvise.

1. Define the problem before you book

Don't tell your coach "I want to work on my guard." Tell them: "I keep getting my knee shield flattened against bigger guys in no-gi, usually when they underhook and walk the hip in." The more specific the problem, the more targeted the hour.

Good problems look like:

A position you consistently lose from (half guard bottom, turtle, back control).
A technique you have in drilling but can't land in rolling.
A guard you want to build a game around.
A match or roll you lost that you want to debrief.

2. Prepare 1–3 concrete questions

Write them in your phone the night before. Examples:

"What should my far-side arm be doing when I'm pinned under cross-face?"
"How do I get the inside position in the hand fight without getting arm-dragged?"
"What's the first thing I should feel for when I hit this sweep and it stalls?"

Bring timestamps too — if a specific moment from a competition footage study or a YouTube instructional confuses you, cue it up on your phone. Related: how to study BJJ competition footage.

3. Wear what you compete in

If you train no-gi, don't do your private in a gi because the coach happens to be in one. Grips, friction, and distance change completely. Match the format to the problem you're solving.

4. Film strategically — not everything

Turn your phone on only for the moments that matter. You do not need thirty minutes of footage.

Film	Skip
One clean rep of the technique, slow	Every warm-up attempt
The grip/angle detail your coach calls out	General chatter
The common mistake, demonstrated	Your rolling at the end
A full-speed finish	Water breaks

Ask your coach, "Can you walk through it one more time while I film and narrate the key detail?" Most coaches are happy to — it also forces them to teach it crisply.

5. Build the technique card the same night

This is the step 90% of people skip. Within a few hours of the lesson, write out:

Position / entry: where this technique starts.
Grips: exact hand placement, lapel, sleeve, wrist, etc.
Angle & weight: which direction you move, where your base is.
Finish or outcome: sweep, pass, submission, position.
Common mistake: the thing your coach kept correcting you on.
Cue phrase: one short sentence that triggers the whole move ("shoulder to the mat, then step the knee").

If you want templates and comparisons for this, see BJJ technique card vs written notes and best BJJ note-taking methods compared.

6. Schedule three revisions

Open your calendar. Add three short reminders:

24 hours after the private.
Right before your next class (even 5 minutes in the car).
One week later.

Each revision is just: reread the card, picture the move, visualize the finish. Two to five minutes. This is where the money you spent actually locks in.

7. Hunt the position in live rolling

For the next 2–3 weeks, deliberately try to find the position your coach worked on, even if it means losing exchanges on purpose. You bought a map — now use it. If you don't try to apply the technique, your brain treats it as abstract trivia and discards it.

Remember. A private lesson is the start of a 2–3 week project, not a one-hour fix. The real work happens in your capture and your reps afterwards.

Common mistakes grapplers make with privates

Booking too early. Taking a private in your first month of training is usually poor ROI — you don't have the vocabulary or the specific problems yet. Spend that money after you've trained enough to know what breaks for you.
Vague goals. "Work on my game" turns into a show-and-tell of the coach's favorite moves instead of a surgical fix.
No filming at all. Trusting your memory for ninety minutes of detail is a losing bet.
Filming everything. You end up with huge unreviewable video dumps. Three short clips you'll actually rewatch beat thirty minutes you won't.
No notes the same day. By tomorrow the specifics blur. By the weekend they're gone.
Trying to "use it" immediately in a hard roll. Drill it light first, flow with a willing partner, then chase it under resistance.
One-and-done. Taking a private, never revisiting it, then booking another on a different topic three weeks later. You end up with a pile of forgotten lessons.

Where BJJ Memo fits in

The hardest part of this whole checklist is step 5 — actually turning a filmed clip into a card you'll reread. BJJ Memo is built for exactly that. You can paste a YouTube link (if you upload your private clip as an unlisted video) and it generates a structured technique card — steps, key details, tappable timestamps — that lives in your personal library alongside everything else you're learning. Then the review flow surfaces it before your next session, so the private doesn't quietly fade into the pile.

It replaces the "I'll write it down later" step that nobody ever actually does. Mat time and your coach are still doing the real work; the app just makes sure the hour you paid for keeps paying off.

Frequently asked questions

How often should a hobbyist book private lessons?

There's no universal answer, but a common pattern for serious hobbyists is one private every 4–8 weeks, each one targeted at a specific sticky problem. That gives you enough mat time between privates to actually apply what you learned and generate a new real question for the next one.

Should I take notes during the private or after?

After. During the lesson, your attention should be on your coach and your body. Film the key reps, take 60 seconds to voice-memo your immediate impressions in the car, then write the structured card that same evening while it's still fresh.

Is it rude to film a private lesson?

Almost never, but always ask. Most coaches assume you'll want to film and are happy to narrate a clean rep for the camera. The one thing to avoid is filming without permission or posting clips publicly without checking first — the lesson is their intellectual property.

Can one private lesson actually fix a weakness?

No single hour fixes a hole in your game. What a good private does is give you a correct blueprint — the right grips, angle, and sequence — so your subsequent drilling and rolling is pointed in the right direction. The fix is the next few weeks of focused reps, not the hour itself.

What if my academy doesn't have a coach I want to take a private with?

Traveling for a private with a specialist (a specific guard, a specific pass system) is a legitimate option — just make sure you've already identified the exact problem, so the trip isn't wasted. Visiting academies with a clear ask is one of the best ways to accelerate as an intermediate grappler.

How does a private compare to a seminar for retention?

A private is more targeted; a seminar is broader but harder to retain because of volume. If you go to a seminar, the capture system is even more important — see how to remember techniques from BJJ seminars.

Bring the private home

The checklist, one more time: define the problem, prepare questions, wear the right kit, film strategically, write a card the same night, schedule three revisions, and hunt the position in rolling. Do that, and a single private can meaningfully change your game. Skip it, and you'll be back next quarter paying for the same lesson.

If you want a cleaner way to turn your lesson clips and the instructionals you study into revisable technique cards, BJJ Memo is built for exactly this: capture from any video, structure it into a card, revise before your next session. It won't replace your coach's eyes on you — nothing does — but it'll make sure the hour you paid for doesn't quietly disappear.

For real feedback and safety, work the techniques your coach shows you under their supervision at a legit academy. BJJ Memo helps you remember and revise what you've been taught — it doesn't replace mat time or a qualified instructor.

Last updated 2026-10-10.